Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has opened up on the hurt and pain she felt since a Catholic priest used the occasion of her mother’s funeral to verbally attack her.
In a gripping and emotion-laden interview, she revealed that up till now, the hierarchical nature of the Catholic church has shielded the priest from any form of reprimand.
“It’s no secret that losing a loved one is one of the most challenging things in life and despite what some may think, there is no right or wrong way of dealing with it. I am not strong in the face of grief. I don’t think anybody should be strong in the face of grief.”
The multiple-award-winning novelist and feminist icon also shed more light on her experience with her hometown Catholic parish priest who verbally attacked her at her mother’s funeral Mass over comments she had made in a previous interview about the Nigerian Catholic Church.
“I have never been afraid of criticism. So, if this priest had written something to criticise me, or even shouted at me at some other venue but the Holy mass of my mother’s funeral, it would have been okay. I really would not have minded. But to do this at my mother’s funeral… This man did not think that my mother deserved the respect, the basic courtesy of having a funeral that would not turn into a raucous market,” she said.
When asked how she’s been navigating the difficult time, Chimamanda revealed that the actions of the priest have made the grieving process more difficult.
“It’s been very, very difficult. It’s not even about me. My mother deserved so much better. My mother deserved respect. She deserved courtesy. My mother never did anything to that man, my mother gave to the church, my mother gave to him…. She deserved better.
“After I have made complaints, I was told to write to the bishop formally. I wrote a formal complaint. The bishop responded to tell me that he will not be able to do anything and the reason is that I had talked about it at the bishops’ conference where I had been invited to speak. Therefore, he was now unable to act,” Chimamanda said.
She also looked at the wider implications of the whole incident and why it was important for it not to happen again.
“I have to be honest and say that one of the reasons I want to talk about this publicly is that I don’t want what happened to us to happen to any other person. I don’t want that for anybody,” she said.
The ‘Notes on Grief’ author said while there are good things about the Catholic Church, the inhumane nature and utter lack of compassion of some of its priests, especially in the eastern part of Nigeria, was shocking and alarming.
“They can refuse to bury a person because that person owes some small amount. They make all kinds of demands on the family and nobody shows compassion. Compassion is lacking and the whole root of Christianity is compassion,” she said.
Chimamanda’s mother, Grace Ifeoma Adichie, died on March 1, 2021 (her father’s birthday), nine months after her father, James Nwoye Adichie’s death.