Lawrence Enyoghasu
From a distance, the shining face of Evangelist Gloria Ebere Okafor, founder and spiritual leader of Dominion of Believers Ministries, belies her disability. Her naturally well-carved eyebrows sit very well on her dazzling eyes. But, alas, this beautiful woman was born without legs. Growing up, she fought inferiority complex by always hiding herself from people who saw nothing in her but disadvantages.
“In African society, once people see someone they feel has a problem, they would start treating the person with pity and that’s what I hate most in my life,” she said. “Nobody should pity me. I do not like it. Most times, if I’m moving on the road, people put their hands in their pockets to give me something, and I would refuse and tell them that I am okay. Even though I come from a very poor family where eating three square meals was a struggle I don’t just want that pity.”
How Gloria got over the dominion of self pity
This courage took her through thick and thin of life until she proceeded to LAN Institute of Catering and Hotel Management, Achalla in Awka, Anambra State. “I studied catering and hotel management for three years and did my mandatory one-year industrial attachment at Buda Hotel in Kaduna State,” she told you.
But it is surprising that with all her wealth and beauty, Gloria has refused to marry, despite pressures from wealthy men. She insists that the church is “my family, that is my mandate and I have so many children in the church. It is my decision. Men approach me. I had a lot of men who asked for my hand in marriage but I turned all of them down. I want to use my whole being to serve God. It is not like marriage can hinder me from serving God but I don’t want any distraction. Marriage can be a distraction.”
She further added: “I also saw a lot of negative things about marriages in the Bible that discouraged me, like the way men maltreated women. So I didn’t see the need to disturb myself about marriage. I don’t want anything that will make me angry or bitter. I do not want to get married. I have decided to be alone.”
Asked if she does not have sexual urges, she said: “I don’t because I have not had sex before. I am a virgin. If I have had an experience before, maybe I would know the feeling. I do not even think I want to know it because my thoughts are not in that direction. You cannot crave a feeling you do not know. It does not bother me because I don’t have an interest in it. I am not bothered at all about having children. Although I might not have biological children, I have spiritual ones. I am certain that even if I were to die today, somebody would take over my ministry and that is the only thing of paramount importance to me.”
The story of the amputee footballer and bus conductor
Aside Gloria, there are other physically challenged people who have managed to turn their scars into stars. One of them is Emmanuel Ibeawuchi, an Mbaise indigene in Imo State. The fair tall, rugged, handsome man who is the current captain of Nigeria Amputees Football team doubles as a commercial bus conductor.
“I am an amputee footballer and a bus conductor,” he said as he cleaned his running nose with his left arm. “I am the captain of amputee football in Nigeria because I don’t want to beg.” Emmanuel looks feisty for a sports person except for the loss of his right leg in an accident years ago.
“I was not born like this,” he explained. “It was 20 years ago that I had an accident when I was traveling to my village for a function. I had everything working for me as a young man with plans in place to travel out or continue with my business. On that fateful day, I lost my youth and wore a cloak of an elderly person.”
In addition, the prolific defender lost many things as a result of that – his wealth, his hopes and future. While he laid on his sick bed expecting to be amputated, all he could think of was how he was going to have a life partner who would love him the way he is.
But he finally married his soul mate, someone who gives him reasons to live. “I am married with three kids,” he informed you. “Many times my children would ask me what happened to me and each time I explained to them. My wife is also a disabled woman on a wheelchair but very hard working. She sees me as an able man. I married her after the accident. Life is not hard for the children; they don’t feel any lack or stereotyped.”
Though things look rough for Emmanuel, he sees only the upside of the situation. He is a diehard optimist. “My life will not end in a slum. I have hope that the team will do well and there will be recognition that will change my life,” he stated.
A graphic artist and his energizing tale
Emmanuel’s teammate, Kazeem Akanbi a footballer cum graphic artist said that, according to his wife, Joy, loving or dating a special person is one of the most unexplainable experiences. He told Saturday Sun the reason he opted to marry an able-bodied person. “It is all about good relationship and care. I care for her and she cares for me. I met her on my way to training. She is an able body. I was able to convince her because I am a celebrity. I see myself as a celebrity but this country does not recognize us as celebrity. During that time I was able to be part of Team Nigeria at the All African Games, then I used all that to woe her. I told her that she should not see me as a handicap and the relationship is up to ten years.
“The marriage has been great and wonderful. I don’t know if I would have had her if I am not a handicap. I will not beg on the road. I work hard for my children because sometimes when you give them what their mates or more than what their mates have they will stand their ground,” he stated.
Born with a birth defect
Leading the ranks of physically challenged people who are not bogged down by their condition is Kudus Ishatayo popularly called Kunzu, a local government tax collector who resides at Aguda, Lagos State. The man born with a congenital disability is a widower.
“I was born disabled. Because I accepted the fact that I would be like this for the rest of my life, I found alternatives to be important. I am a special person,” he said. “I have a lot of girl-friends, they are with me because I am special. I am also special to my four daughters. It is hard training a girl-child on a wheelchair
“There are thousand and one advantages to being disabled. My late wife will tell you I am one of the best lovers in this world. I think there is extra strength for us. If you know what I mean, I have able men that run errands for me and deliver.”