Kate Halim
The transfer of money can complicate relationships and the lending or giving intent that a man or woman has when it comes to the people that they love often backfires.
In some cases, when it comes to giving men money, women believe that it is improper. This is because they believe that it is men who should spend on women. This is wrong.
On the flip side, there are also guys who live off women these days. They have no viable means of livelihood and prey on rich and successful omen just to get money and live large.
Effects spoke to some men and women who stated their stance on giving or lending their partners money. Enjoy the interesting responses:
Patricia: I will ask but if he says no, I won’t be angry
It’s always okay to ask your man for money just as it is okay for them to say no. He’s not a piggy bank, and you are not his property. You are both human beings, and have the freedom to choose your own path through life.
If I need money and I ask him, if he’s willing to lend me what I need, or provide it as a gift, I will be grateful. If he says no, I will respect his decision. If he says yes, I will clarify what conditions are associated with him providing me the money.
I simply avoid taking money from my boyfriend and getting embroiled in unstated expectations of tit for tat in the future. If taking the money comes with expectations on his part, I make sure I understand what those are before I take it. I have come to understand that if there’s one thing that destroys a relationship more than sex, it is money.
Timothy: It depends on what she needs the money for
I would say that it is not wrong for a woman to ask the man she is dating for money once in a while but what I don’t like is constantly expecting a man to shoulder all your responsibilities as well as that of your family. That’s milking him dry.
I won’t mind giving my woman but it will depend on what she needs the money for. If she is just asking for it to go shopping versus she needs it for a bill to be paid, I will choose the latter. I don’t want to feel as if you are always depending on me for money.
Unfortunately when money comes into play and you are always asking for it especially if you are not borrowing and expect me to just give it to you, I will tell you no. However, there is nothing wrong with at least asking but there are two answers that can be expected and accepted which are, yes or no.
Elizabeth: I will work 10 jobs before asking a guy for money
I have never asked for money from any of my boyfriends and I won’t start now. If they wanted to give it to me, then fine, but I didn’t ask and I didn’t expect. The only time I ever asked a guy for money, was when I asked my son’s father for some money when my son was a baby and he insulted me for trying to use the excuse of our son to rip him of his hard-earned money. I cried for days. I never asked again. I decided to be both father and mother to my child. Today, I wouldn’t ask a guy for money, even if I was forced to. I will work 10 jobs before asking a guy for money.
Caro: Asking your partner for money depends on your relationship
Asking your partner for money depends on your relationship. If you live together and you are going to pay bills or buy something you both need at home, a woman can ask her man for money.
And the next time he is short on money, you can give it to him, or buy him a nice gift after. It all depends on the type of relationship you both have, however just blatantly asking for money just because you both are dating is not right in my opinion. It would in the range of prostitution as you give him sex in exchange for giving you money.
Jacob: I won’t respect any woman who is always asking me for money
Any woman who asks me for money should also know that I will ask her for sex in return. You can’t expect me to give you money for free. Things are hard and I won’t be any young lady’s ATM.
I believe that if women want power in relationships, they shouldn’t ask men for money. They need to work or do businesses to make their own money and not rely on men to foot their bills. I won’t respect any woman who is always asking me for money.
You are an adult, be an adult. My bank account is mine. My money is mine. If I decide to give you money, it is me being loving and generous not because you are pestering me like a gold-digger.
Opeyemi: If I don’t ask my boyfriend for money, who will I ask?
It’s true that we shouldn’t look to others to support us but there is nothing wrong with a woman asking her man for money. If I don’t ask him for money, who will I ask for money, my father? Since he claims to love me, he has to prove it every time by giving me money. Money is the only language that I understand. It makes me feel loved whenever my boyfriend gives me money whether I asked for it or not.
If I want money, I ask my boyfriend for it. I don’t deceive myself that I can handle all my financial needs by myself. I don’t want to age faster than my mates. I love being a trophy girlfriend. I came to this world to enjoy and spending my boyfriend’s money is one of the ways I enjoy my life.
Bayo: Women take advantage of men by asking for money
Personally, I feel women take advantage of men in relationships when it comes to money. The notion that a man is a provider is nonsense. It makes women lazy. A woman is a help meet, in other words a partner. Your boyfriend is not your father. If you want that type of relationship, get yourself a sugar daddy.
Mabel: I cannot date someone for just their money
Of late, rarely do I ask for money from a guy, I cannot even ask from my own father and if I ever do, I always make sure I pay it back very quickly. Sometimes guys treat me to dinner but I prefer paying for myself and if a man buys me anything, I feel as I am owing me. I cannot date someone for just their money. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that.
I think it’s okay for a girl to ask for small amounts of money from her boyfriend and of course in the early stages of dating but I feel that if my partner asked me for money, I would feel less respect for him. Of course it does not mean he is low, but I would feel it is not very manly of him to ask a girl for money.