Today, I want to cough. I don’t know if it is going to be a deep cough, the type our fathers will deploy to express regret or to lay emphasis on certain lies or misrepresentation of facts or history. Cough, sometimes tells of a community or national malady, curable sickness?

Am also sure if my  windy cough, will signpost  a serious attention to the possibility of tuberculosis  in our tourism leadership ecosystem or an apparent rejection to the dedicated fast fingers,  who  have short changed us as a nation and people, stealing us blind.

Now let me tell of a cough(ing) story.  This story is original to the Bible and if you don’t know, please learn to research (fact check) whatever you are told or “cough inspired” to your attention.

There was an old man, God fearing, incorruptible, stern and frugal about what God kept in his care. As a priest of the Lord, he receives sacrifices (tithes) and all, from the people who came to alter of God.

There are always a process of preserving sacrifices in then old days, particularly when rams, Cows, yam, goats, unblemished, are presented to appreciate the Lord. Some of sacrificial offerings were to atone for SIN (my  people don’t ask me the type of sins ooo)

Remember, that the sacrifices were like a commonwealth, kept in care of the priests. God owns everything, and like budgeting for tourism, decides how and to whom may receive therefrom.

So the old man, kind and fearful of Lord, will wait upon the directives of the Lord, and his name is Eli.

Though he was very old and bent over (sign of old age), Eli, will call for the big pots (budgeted sacrifices of ram, goats and lambs( money in kind), cut into pieces and put on fire.

Eli has two sons, Hophni and Phinehas. Smart guys, who will without fear of the Lord and their father, cleverly deep their hands and fork out the choicest fatty parts of the sacrifices on fire.

Pa Eli, was aware of the evil fingers of his two thieving sons which made the people grumble. The went underground and stirred silent resistance to the breaches of the commonwealth of God.

Again God hates those who does not honour him, those who steals his people blind through organizing yeye tourism road shows,  conference and all kinds of Hacthrons ( some says it’s hackertricks).

Anyway, Sin is sin, so these boys, the bible narrative did not say which of the two is older but permit me to say Hophni is older. Again, we   were not told whether the offence was committed in Ilorin or Lagos.

Neither also was the theatre of the conference of cooking was done in Gatwick, Abuja or in Lagos.  Don’t misquote me oo, after all Abai was also a theatre of reference in the bible, made famous by politicians when they are at their most mischievous Hophni phinehas spirit.

Where are we? OK, the narratives goes on and on, as  Hophni and phinehas continued chopping behind their father,  Eli for over seven years,  getting fat while other priests and worshippers at the temple of God, grew lean.

One black bird, watching over the Nigerian tourism community, says the same is happening and or had happened to the sectorial players by the Hophni and phinehas of tourism of our government.  Please fact check ooo, it could just be rumors!.

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Pity pa Eli. God was angry when the cryings of the people got to HIM.  Not that pa Eli, did not warn his greedy  sons before now but  those boys  must have told their father to mind his business,  after all if he( Eli), do not want to live fat on the sin offerings( there were also goodwill,  thanks giving  offerings), then it was their rightful patrimony to do away with the fatlings as they wish,  after all, it’s written that thieves can be forgiven for stealing what belongs to everyone for they( fast fingers) do not know what they were doing. How can someone bear lie as name and another from lagos as Judas of tourism. 

Verdict!. God caused pa Eli to break his back and died while Hophni and his brother Phinehas were arrested by EFCC of Heaven and died in custody, with stolen meats found in their pockets.  When I shared this narrative with one of my friend in government, he swore, I was indirectly talking about him. He was so angry and alleged that there were no Hophni and phinehas in Nigeria tourism administration ecosystem. He fumed that the unwto conference which Nigeria hosted cannot be likened to any boiling pot of fat rams, and as far as he cares, this Christmas is already made for him.

He swore his agency budget holds no  attraction as Baba ijubu pays better lottery than gambling around with small government money which has been used to print “come see” Nigeria shirts.

Another very self concieted  and better than Pa Eli in righteousness, who took up every dissenting voice to the unwto Xmas party in Lagos, stated  no red carpet was laid for his majestarial notification and presence,  therefore like Hophni and Phinehas,  he has right to dine with the devil,  same devil  who reported “ Saint “ Hophni and Phinehas to God.

Now, some people are going about, saying all sorts of things, alleging that the Ministry of Information and Culture is peopled by plenty Hophnis while the parasitic agencies played Phinehas in the misapplication our tourism funds. I don’t have all facts oooo but am worried because another agency, Center for Black and African Juju says it wants to host festac demons festivals, with sacrifices of ilorin Amala, ofada rice, cow meat and chicken, to be served at the event.

The story is everywhere, I was told that only “ white people “ are invited.  One school boy who wants to sit for a tourism examination, asked me what does ntdc Hacatric, sorry Hacthron mean?

I remembered that Chief Abiodun Odusanwo, President and executive chairman of Institute of Tourism Professionals of Nigeria, is a notable tourism teacher.  So I gave the boy his phone number so he can get a perfect answer from him.

You know lately, chief Odusanwo, has been throwing his new found wealth around,  hosting ITPN meetings, conferences and awards with  his members, many who told me, ITPN is so attractive to them because like Hophni and phinehas,  they don’t pay for membership fees.

I remember Abiodun Odunsanwo many years ago when he returned from United Kingdom,  where he was a tourism college principal,  now the canniries of the industry,  alleged his deep pocket, has bought him a private controversial industry bill, squared him up  against his diamond resources enablers   and baskets  of suspicion  from his backers in the industry. 

We used to be friends and talks regularly but he now frequents UK, and I wonder if he wants to set up ITPN UK branch?

Additionally,  all I know is  that attempts to paint  this  brilliant  gentleman from egbaland as  an  emerging Hophni and Phinehas of private sector tourism golden cake, will fail, fall to the ground. Maybe he is a father Xmas of a sort, President of an association( or vocational training Institute) where  members do not pay  dues but are mentored with mufflers and awards, remains baffling and intriguing.

Let us talk about Xmas from next week and it will be unacceptable if the Hophni(es) and Phinehas (es) of the industry  did not release our tourism bailout funds. Where is my friend, dashing Turakin Kebbi? I need to take a Xmas selfie.  Badaki Aliu? Justina ovat, please don’t arrest me for telling tales in a restaurant ooo.

Next week, I want to host my very hard working minister, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, Foluronsho Coker, Otunba Segun Runsewe, Nura Kangiwa, Ado Yahuza, Ahmed Muhammed Ahmed and my other tourism partners to the end of year get together.

Chief Samuel Alabi and ftan President, Nkereweum Onung are not invited.  It is wise to boycott, the boycotters, particularly tourism reporters, Andrew Okungbowa and Okorie Uguru.  Honestly, no press invited. See you all at the feast of Tourism, and there will be Awards!