When in the morning of the 18th September 2021, my younger sister, incidentally Emma Efika’s wife, called to break the news of my dear friend’s death, I thought of so many things including famous quotes about death, just to console myself. The following quote by Max Lucado won the competition.
It says “Not only is death inevitable; death is necessary for us to inherit the new life we are to enjoy in Christ”. With the reassurance oozing out of this quotation, I became relaxed and thereafter saw Emma’s death as an assignment from his maker.
Emma and my humble self, enrolled into the University of Nigeria Enugu Campus in 1975. None of us knew the other’s age at that time, but it would later turn out that we were age mates. No wonder the easy chemistry between us.
In that year, the University commenced the off Campus programme of accommodating its students in rented apartments in the town.
Fate brought Emma and myself together, to share a room at the Amaechi Street Enugu off Campus Hostel of the University. The arrangement usually lasted for one academic year.
This simple relationship of sharing a room for one academic year, later translated to four years of living together with Emma as roommates.
What happened was that, at the beginning of every academic year, we insisted on our continuing to live together as roommates. We were the envy of other students. There were some students who courted Emma assiducously but he rejected them for me.
Living with Emma was a great fun. We enjoyed living together and sharing things in common. Our jokes were interminable.
I remember how, we killed the humdrum of campus life and food, by venturing outside the gates of the University for delicacies. We patronized Madam Ofili’s restaurant off college road. Her “Ofe-Olugbo” better leaf soup was our preference.
We went to Bamboo- end in New Heaven for their “Isi Ewu”.
We rotated the hosting between two of us. We called the escapades” Nke Onye riri ka obu” This is This is the Ibo version of “Enjoy yourself today because no person knows tomorrow”
There were times we went to private homes of his relatives, I remember this relation of Emma, Fide now late, whose wife treated us to sumptuous lunch or dinner depending on the time we arrived.
That is the genesis of our friendship that was to spawn for over four decades, and that sucked so many people, on both sides into its vortex. Emma was known to anybody who is somebody in my community. In the same manner he introduced me to many illustrious Uturu sons and daughters including Sab.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks, as i write this tribute to my friend who is without blemish.
Emma for all our years together, both at Campus and later years, never showed anger, Emma was such a fine gentleman.
He was friendly and generous. He was a fine company.
There was this day in the Campus, when I and another friend, were discussing life in Lagos. Our discussion later turned on the popular but seedy part of Lagos then known as “Quay Side” Quay Side was located off the old Marina Street Lagos, but on the Lagoon. It consisted of floating rafts which were converted to shops or shelters. It was populated by miscreants and the dregs of the society. No decent person dared to venture into that area. This was the subject of my discussion with the other friend while Emma looked on. Emma did not take part in the discussion because at that time he had not been to Lagos.
However, his gregarious nature would not allow him to keep quiet and not join in a lively discussion. At the same time, he did not want our other discussant friend, to know that Lagos was a strange land to him. I knew that much about him as he knew every antecedent about mine.
At the mention of “Quay Side” and the way we talked about it, Emma decided to join the discussion by exclaiming “Quay Side” ebe ana ekpuri ndu” meaning “Quay Side where we usually enjoyed life”. We had a good laugh, because Emma not having been in Lagos did not know that “Quay Side” was a notorious haven for criminals and drug addicts. It could not have been a jolly spot as my friend implied. Emma was such a lively person that no discussion or chat would pass him by.
He got on well with every person. I am not sure Emma had any enemy, a later day Ajata Shatru. This is because he tried not to offend any person and tried also, not take offence at anything or person. Make no mistakes, Emma was not a coward. He had a strong personality. It was easy to see how Emma and I became friends, with all the fine attributes of his.
As I said earlier, my friendship with Emma became so expensive that every member of my family hooked onto it. Our name for each other “My Roommate” became Emma’s name in my family. My mother, sisters , brothers, cousins, everybody called him “Roommate”
This was long before Emma and my younger sister decided to marry. The marriage with my younger sister brought out Emma’s abundant qualities. I am sure it was at this time that members of my family got to know Emma’s real names.
Emma, as my brother in-law, was more than an in-law. Emma was actually involved in every activity in my family. He was a bastion of support for me and members of my family. He was a great in-law and a wonderful husband to my sister, and great father to their children, who grew into amazing and wonderful kids.
The week Emma died, we chatted on the phone as we usually did. The subject of that phone call was how I was preparing for the burial of another in-law, Charlie Ebeatu.
After sympathizing with me on the load I am carrying for the family, he volunteered to help me, an offer he redeemed. That is Emma for you and me. Emma’s death has left a large hole in my life. It was made me vulnerable.
This is one death too many for me. He was truly honourable.
My Roommate, or should I call you the other version of it? “ Akpirikpo Roommate” or “My Yeye Roommate” or still “My Foolish Roommate”. You were one in a million. You were a rare and no wonder you shone like a constellation of stars. You were a leader per excellence. What with your organizational skills? No person who came in touch with Emma ever wanted to leave him. He was as loyal and dependable as any person can wish. Emma, you will be sorely missed by everybody.
Emma, adieu my dear friend and in-law.
In our next worlds, we shall resume our friendship and everything that followed it.
May the Almighty God receive your gentle soul in His bosom.
Rest in Peace, My worthy friend.
•Eze Duruiheoma, SAN
Former chairman, National Population Commission, Abuja.