“My wife is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me”.

“She completes me”. “

“She never cheats on me”. 

“She is virtuous.”

I have heard these countless times from husbands about their dotting wives but you will be shocked at what secrets some of these women keep. 

They play the wifely role dutifully, yet they are not satisfied with their husbands alone. They want to satiate pleasure from other women too.

These women have been in the closet for many years and they are bisexual.

You think it’s strange right? Oh, you think Nigerian women are exceptions?

If you think this doesn’t happen in Nigeria, then you are living a lie.

Get this straight, this is 2017 and cheating wives are not just into men, they are into women too.

You don’t even have to look too hard, it might just be happening right under your nose.

They are among the prayer warriors in your church, in the choir; they wear hijabs and are among asalatu in your mosque.

They are doctors, lawyers, nurses, traders, musicians, teachers, engineers and what have you.  They are no strangers; they are your mummies, aunties, sisters, cousins, nieces and friends.

Women are great custodians of secrets and they sometimes take these secrets to their graves.  So, it is a well-kept secret that has been buried in the sands of time.

I am truly sorry my dearest women, I wonder why I am just different.  You guys should understand I am not good at keeping secrets, so I will be spilling it all out.

First and foremost, bisexuals are not lesbians and all bisexuals are capable of having a happy marriage unlike lesbians who don’t want anything to do with men.  They are twice as excited in bed like any straight woman, but they still have this dark secret; they are sexually attracted to women. 

However, there is a twist about bisexual women in Nigeria, as some of them are actually lesbians.  But because every Nigerian woman is expected to get married and live happily ever after regardless of their sexual orientation, some men end up with wives who are lesbians and so they easily transform into bisexuals.

To a large extent, I will say bisexuality is experiencing an irony because men promoted it.

They enjoy watching women making out, cheer them and exploit them. So, if you are among these people who participated actively in these acts and you ended up with one I don’t sympathize with you.

In my opinion, I think it’s not smart for any man to think that his wife is hundred percent straight, because, if the truth must be told, not all women are straight.

Modern women are into series of sexual adventures and they have wild fantasies that will make our mothers cringe.

Furthermore, a study conducted by the Department of Psychology at the University of Essex, analyzed 345 women whose responses showed that most women are either bisexual or gay but “never straight.” If you think I made that up Google is your friend.

Are you still thinking this is just another Oyinbo thing?

If you do, let me share a real life story with you, I am going to call this woman ‘Nkechi’.

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Nkechi has been married for 10 years with three kids and her husband’s job takes him around, so he is never at home.

Nkechi has a very close friend and they are inseparable. No one suspected anything, because it’s not unusual to have a female best friend.

One Monday afternoon, Nkechi’s husband came home unannounced and met Nkechi and her bestie pleasuring themselves. They didn’t even notice him, until her husband screamed. To the world, these beautiful ladies are happily married. In fact, they sometimes sneer at gays and cheating wives because they have found their way round their situation.

But do I blame them? I don’t. If you are a travelling husband, you need to look for ways your wife will be sexually satisfied.

Ask her questions; don’t just assume she will figure things out herself. Don’t assume she will remain “celibate” while you go around philandering.

Have you bothered to ask if she needs a dildo; or are you one of those men who are jealous of that inanimate object?

Perhaps you are of the school of thought that believes sex toys are demonic and shouldn’t be inserted in your wife’s holy vagina. Well, that is another topic for another day.

Mind you, when a woman is aroused, no amount of holiness and speaking in tongues can satiate her.

If you are one of those who think these ways, then, if your wife ends up as a bi, go deal with it.

Back to the matter, like I said earlier, I am not good at keeping secrets, if you want to play the FBI and know if your wife, fiancée, girlfriend is bisexual here are clues to watch for:

Women who are into other women will likely appreciate other women openly. They are generally not threatened by other women’s beauty. But, be careful this is only a clue, so don’t jump into conclusions. 

If she has done it in the past, she will probably refer to it once in a while but you can’t really tell if she enjoyed it or not. You can’t tell if she still wants to repeat the act or if she is already into it. If you want to be a great detective watch and pray.

Are you guys into porn? That is easy bait for you detective Obi. Try out lesbian porn with her and see, if she loves girl on girl porn. If she does, that is dead bait. This is a stronger clue but still keep your cool, because you need to prove beyond reasonable doubt that she is guilty.

Is she very affectionate about some of her girlfriends? Hey! before your imagination runs wild, it’s not that her bestie o!   Not that one that takes her to every owanbe in town.  I am so sure she will be smarter than that, hinting at it can even get you into trouble, just stay calm until you have a clearer picture.

Another very important clue is to look critically at that her best friend, the way she behaves towards you when you guys are together. There is great possibility that she would behave like a jealous lover. Yes, if they are in a relationship, it will be written all over her. Although, some can put up an act better that will even make Mercy Johnson grow green with envy but watch out for subtle signs.

Also, if she talks about the kind of woman she wants to date, and gives you specifications, then watch her closely too. There is a clause here too, don’t confuse sexual openness and fantasy with sexual orientation.

You can try and drop in some sexy conversation and ask her “when was the last time you kissed a girl?”

Keep your questions light, keep it playful and maybe you’ll get what you want. Be respectful and kind but whatever you do, be careful. You know, if these FBI moves are not done discretely, it can land you into trouble. You know how spiritual some Nigerian wives can be; they might be thinking you are asking for something more.

So, I am begging you to be wise before you end up with 21 days dry fasting and some deliverance sessions after she must have reported you to your pastor. Don’t push your luck too far!

Interestingly, many Nigerian women who are bisexual are into it because they feel it is safer to cheat with women than men.  Also, some of these women are simply not sexually satisfied with their men, they only fake orgasm. When you are done with your five-minute rendezvous, they know where they will get the maximum orgasm you can’t give them. They are only tired of repeating the same thing with you.

Another category is the bi-curious and these women simply want their sexual fantasy come to reality with no strings attached.  The last category are actually lesbians, they are in a marriage not because they want to but because the society frowns at it. Marrying a man easily makes their sexual orientation easier to hide.

However, no matter the category you fall into as a bisexual, if you are married or in a relationship, I think you should be honest with your spouse about your sexuality; he has a right to know about it.  Stop keeping him in the dark, if he is the reason you are into such moves, let him know or talk to a trusted person who can help you both.

Remember, a long-lasting marriage or relationship should be built on trust, if she chooses you, give her another chance by trusting her again.

But, if it is just you and you think you can’t do without the other woman, I think your husband doesn’t deserve such treatment, it is either you let him go or seek counseling.