Have you told yourself that cheating on your spouse is not in your agenda? Have you promised yourself that no matter what happens in your marriage, you won’t dare look at another man or woman lustfully?
You love your spouse and you would never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful. You may be on your way to having multiple orgasms with someone other than your spouse if you are not careful.
If some of these unattended actions continue, you may find yourself on the slippery slope that leads to that never-intended affair and problems you never wanted in your marriage.
Unfaithfulness usually creeps in through the back door, disguising itself as harmless fun or innocent behaviour. This happens to men a lot. They claim nothing will happen when they get too close to another woman until they start singing choruses in bed with the person.
If you want your marriage to last and be filled with happiness you may need to check this list to see if you have fallen prey to any of these unfaithful behaviors and then make amends. Don’t excuse your behaviour with ‘I am a man, I can have as many women as I want as long as I can take care of them.’
Flirting with another person other than your spouse is dangerous. Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker can’t be too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. But you must avoid it like the plague. It’s dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it.
Flirting usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, which is often a direct expression of sexual interest.
Married people should not engage in this type of behaviour with anyone other than their spouse. It is a form of unfaithfulness that leads to no good. The person you are flirting with may take it as an invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended to start.
Confiding in the opposite gender whenever you have issues with your spouse is courting an affair. When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position.
It may seem harmless. After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you have marital problems, talk about it with your spouse. That’s your best-ever shoulder to cry on.
If that’s not working for you, talk to your parents, a trusted relative or a therapist. You must not pour out your marital frustrations to someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn’t start that way, too often it ends that way. It’s a form of unfaithfulness.
Spending time alone with someone other than your spouse may lead to cheating. What appears to be an innocent lunch out with someone of the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone’s home without your spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior.
Don’t say that you are both adults and nothing will happen. Well, things do happen and a lot too. It’s not appropriate. Go home and spend that time with your spouse. Men, stop jumping from one beer parlour to another at night instead of going home to cuddle your wives.
Putting your children before your spouse is wrong. Your children are very important in your life, but not more important than your spouse. If you knock your spouse off the top of your priority list you are not showing total fidelity to him or her.
Your spouse should come first. Not only does it cement your marriage and make it stronger, it gives your children the best security blanket they will ever have.
Don’t let your children think that they are more important to you than your spouse. Without your spouse, they won’t be in the equation in the first place.
Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex is a pointer that you will soon cheat on your spouse. If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but it definitely won’t end that way.
Some have engaged in what they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from secondary school or University days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don’t do it.
Dressing to attract the attention of someone other than your spouse is a cheating behaviour. If you are dressing up to look good for someone else, you need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters.
To withhold sexual intimacy from your spouse is not doing your part in keeping your marriage strong and fulfilling. It creates suspicion. Being a faithful spouse means doing your part to make your marriage beautiful in all aspects.
Your spouse should be the number one person in your life. If something wonderful happens to you, like a promotion, a confirmation of a pregnancy, or any other good news, let your spouse be the first to know your good news. Then share it with others including parents, friends and family members.
Talking negatively about your spouse may lead you down the road of adultery. You may start comparing your spouse with that man or woman you think is perfect. Don’t make that mistake. If you have problems with your sweetheart, talk it out with him or her.
Let your conversations with others focus on the good things about your spouse. That’s being faithful. The exception here is abuse. If abuse is happening it needs to be reported to a trusted friend, counselor, and the police. You must keep yourself safe first before thinking about keeping a marriage.
Re: JUST BEFORE YOU MARRY THAT MAN
I want to clearly tell you that if a man has sex with his daughter, know for sure he is not her biological father. People should press on the girl’s mother to confess. No doubt, the woman played away game.
A father cannot be sexually attracted to his own daughter, instead he will be irritated. So any man that does that shows he is not the real father of the girl. His wife cheated on him and had the girl. That is why such women tolerate their husbands. They cheated. -Frank Ofili
I appreciate your write ups. There is no doubt about your versatility in marriage and its related issues. Indeed, your articles are educative; they teach morals among other things. I urge you to accept castigations from some men because they will make you great. Don’t succumb. Keep the flag flying. -Peace Ohams, Aba
When I read the stories of fathers sexually molesting their daughters, I begin to imagine how it can physically happen. I look at my daughters and ask myself how the attraction can start. Are they not these kids I carried in my arms at night and sang rhymes for, sometimes put them on my tummy to sleep?
If a man sees his children as possible sexual partners then the man is mentally sick and must be removed far away from those children, and any other child for that matter.
If a man sees his child as a possible object of molestation, sexually, how can he be left with children who are not biologically his?
Evil is evil and we must see it so and must stop it as soon as it is noticed or see signs of its coming. What excuse will any man give for sexually molesting his daughter? It must not be allowed to happen. It is an honour to be a father. How then can a man abuse such honour and privilege given by God? God forbid. -Mba F.A., Abuja
Any man that has sex with his daughter should be killed. The same should apply to any form of sexual abuse and rape. I am a man saying this. -Idris
Any man that sleeps with his daughter under whatever evil guidance should be shot dead and not castrated. Let that be passed into law in Nigeria. -Gbenga
Kate, you are a positive thinker. Any man that doesn’t condemn fathers having sex with their daughters or rape is not better than a he goat. Your pen will never dry, keep it up. -Andy Onyema Mcllord, Abuja
Kate, your sermon, as usual, provides food for thought. However, many unreasonable ladies are too desperate to marry. Do not be surprised that such ladies will not even accept your good counsels let alone obeying them. Any man who supports or has carnal knowledge of a daughter is either a confirmed animal or ritualist. Such should be avoided like a plague by real human beings. -Tony, Umuahia
Kate you are right. No reasonable and responsible man can try sleeping with his daughter. Any man who does that is an animal and should have his head examined or sent to the zoo. –Hon. Peter Okafor, Orlu, Imo state
As a man, it is embarrassing, nauseating and unbelievable. It is only perverts that do this to their daughters and other people’s daughters. Sending these men to jail is good but Nigerian prisons only hardens them and makes them worse. I would rather suggest that seminars and workshops be organized periodically to find ways of protecting these future mothers from these marauders who through their acts destroy destinies. -Mike, Mushin, Lagos
How I wish Nigeria can set an agency for men raping their own daughters. Some women indirectly cause this problem. They allow their daughters who are over 18 give their fathers hugs and kisses in their presence. It is not proper because they will do the worse in their absence. -Bolaji from Kwali
The amount of truth you know determines the amount of freedom you will exercise. John 8:32. The curses shows you are communicating. None of their curse shall locate your address in Jesus name, amen.
-Asiegbu E. E. Aba, Abia State