Welcome to Nigeria where women kill their husbands and married men don’t die natural deaths. Their wives are accused of killing them and forced to prove their innocence.
When a wife dies at the hands of her abusive husband, it is an accident but when a man dies in an accident or after a brief illness, his wife killed him. She killed him so that she can continue enjoying life with her lover.
Welcome to Nigeria where a man dies and his church-going, communion-receiving and tongue-speaking relatives swoon upon his properties like bees and displace his wife and children.
Welcome to Nigeria where a wife suggests to her husband to write a will and he accuses her of trying to kill him so she can keep his properties even though she is trying to protect her interests and that of her children.
Welcome to Nigeria where a man with a wife and children refuses to make her his next of kin. He would rather use his brother or sister and when he dies, his immediate family starts suffering.
Welcome to Nigeria where a man accuses his wife of adultery and she’s shamed and returned to her family but when she catches him with different lovers, she resorts to fasting and prayers to win back her husband from the unholy hold of side chicks.
Some women with cheating husbands go a step further by calling the girls and threatening them to leave their husbands alone. These women claim the ladies are the ones chasing their husbands. They call their husband’s mistresses home breakers.
These women spare the men who took marital vows with them to continue dipping their rods into different oil rigs because they are not being held responsible for their actions. May foolishness be far from Nigerian women!
Welcome to Nigeria where fathers are having sex with their underaged daughters and their wives are covering up their crimes. Some of these women also take their daughters for abortion when their fathers impregnate them. Poor girls!
Welcome to Nigeria where a mother blames her daughter for getting raped by her father and claims she’s trying to snatch her husband. The stories I hear about such terrible mothers who can’t even protect their daughters annoy me. Why in God’s name should a woman choose an irresponsible man over her child?
Welcome to Nigeria where a woman is judged by her marital status. It doesn’t matter what she has achieved even before 30, if she’s not married, she is a failure. She is not allowed to talk among her mates because she doesn’t have the almighty Mrs. Title.
Welcome to Nigeria where the girl child is endangered. She bears the brunt of the reckless actions of irresponsible men around her. She is blamed for seducing her sexual molesters. She is told to dress properly to avoid getting raped.
Welcome to Nigeria where a rape victim is shamed into silence while her abuser is energized to keep sexually molesting other victims. Some of the rape victims are even told to apologize to their rapists because they destroyed their reputation. Sighs!
Welcome to Nigeria where a woman must die to keep her marriage even if she’s the one feeding, clothing and having sex with the man. She’s nothing without a marriage. It doesn’t matter if she married a useless man.
It doesn’t matter if the man disrespects her, insults her before family and friends, and accuses her of using his star to shine if she’s doing better than him financially. It doesn’t matter if he beats her, strips her and insults all her family members, she must stay put.
She will be told to continue praying so that God will touch his heart. Meanwhile, he doesn’t fall into fire when he sees one but he doesn’t know what he’s doing by being disrespectful and violent towards his wife, someone he is supposed to love, cherish and protect.
Welcome to Nigeria where pastors feed fat on women’s desperation to keep their homes. They organize ridiculous programmes where these women are charged to keep praying for irresponsible men. But these men won’t be called to order or charged to pray for their wives if the tables were turned.
Welcome to Nigeria where an average man believes you must say yes to his advances. If you dare say no, you are a prostitute. You must smile at any man that says hello otherwise you might miss a potential husband material.
Welcome to Nigeria where girls are sexually abused by their fathers, step fathers, uncles, pastors, cousins and neighbours but instead of seeking justice for these victims, they are told to forget about it because it is a family matter.
Welcome to Nigeria where a man beats his wife black and blue and the first question people will ask her is ‘what did you do for him to beat you?’ To them, a man has the right to beat his wife but he can’t even look at his female boss in the eye.
It is funny that these men who go Mike Tyson on their wives can’t even fight their fellow men. When the time comes for them to show the stuff they are made of with other men, they run and hide. They don’t go slapping soldiers or policemen on the road but they come alive when it comes to beating their wives.
Welcome to Nigeria where infertility is always the woman’s fault. If she doesn’t have children after years of getting married, she must have aborted all the children in her womb. Churches call out women looking for the fruit of the womb for special prayers while the men stay put in their seats as if these women would impregnate themselves.
People don’t tell men without children to go for fertility tests to know if they have low sperm counts and erectile dysfunction. People don’t tell women who are married to men who can’t impregnate them to try other men outside but they are quick to suggest that married men try their luck with other ladies so that they can have children.
Welcome to Nigeria where we leave everything to God. We are waiting for God to come down and help us do things He gave us brains for. People refuse to hold criminals accountable for their crimes. People allow other people cheat them because they want God to judge them.
Welcome to Nigeria where policemen raid night clubs and arrest dancers and stripers. They take them away and sexually molest them. They insert baton into their vaginas and injure them. They blame them for the rot in the society but let the men who patronize them go scot free.
Welcome to Nigeria where a woman who has female children is mocked. She is threatened by her husband’s family that if she doesn’t give him a male child, she will be sent back to her father’s house. She is called names while the man who determines the sex of the baby is spared all the insults and name calling.
Welcome to Nigeria where widows are treated like outcasts and free meat for all. Men swoon around these helpless women who have lost their bread winners not because they want to assist them financially but because they want to have sex.
This is Nigeria where a woman should be seen and not heard. This is our Nigeria where a woman is told how far she can go. This is Nigeria where a woman is blamed for almost everything that goes wrong in the society. This is Nigeria where women are treated like second class citizens.
What kind of future do we want for our daughters? What kind of future do we want for our children if we continue to turn a blind eye to all the bad things happening in this country? These happenings drain me. What about you?
Re: watch out for these signs of obsessive love
You won’t say what women do to men that turn them to animals. All the time, you look for faults in men without calling out your fellow jezebels who just want to drain men financially. I am not in support of killing anyone but sometimes, women can drive men to commit crimes. -Francis Udeagu, Abuja
I always advise ladies to run away from obsessive men but many of them sadly mistake obsession for love. These ladies make excuses for the men acting violent towards them. They claim these men are just treating them badly because they love them. Thank you for using your column to educate ladies on things they shouldn’t tolerate in relationships. -Oyindamola Akinbode, Lagos
I don’t know why you are always quick to talk badly about men but say nothing about wives who refuse to be submissive to their husbands. You refuse to advise women who rub shoulders with their husbands as if they are equals. You don’t say anything about women who spend their husband’s money on clothes, shoes and human hair. You are silent when it comes to women cheating on their husbands and committing abomination. You are not a good writer. You are on a personal vendetta against men. I don’t know who broke your heart that you have become a monster against all men. Change your ways. You might get a second chance at love again. -Mr. Godwin Onuoha, Onitsha
The man that burned down the family house of his ex-girlfriend and killed innocent people at night because the young lady no longer wanted to be with him should not go unpunished. He should pay for his wicked act accordingly. -Chika Nnorom, Umukabia
While I understand that there are some men who are obsessive and controlling, I don’t like the way you are instilling fear in young ladies by constantly hammering on the bad sides of men. You are pushing them away from good relationships. Try and talk about some positive things about being in good relationships. -Henry Akorah, Lagos
The dividing line between obsessive love and real love is clear but often times, men and women are blinded by desperation and the quest to have someone profess love for them. People should stop joking with their lives by remaining in obsessive relationships. -Pastor Stephen, Abuja