What fathers should teach sons about true manhood

Fathers, there are some things you must teach your son about true manhood. The first is that being a gentleman is still worth the effort.

Kate Halim

In today’s world, there are three false ideas of masculinity. They are athletic ability, sexual conquest, and wealth accumulation.

Many fathers are not teaching their sons what they need to know to be better men. They erroneously show them through their actions and how they treat women around them that men are superior to women.

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But true masculinity is defined by two principles. One is to love and treat other people with respect including women and children while the other is to live for the purpose of helping others.

Fathers, there are some things you must teach your son about true manhood. The first is that being a gentleman is still worth the effort. Teach them to hold the door, stand up when a woman leaves or joins the table. Go get the car when it’s raining. Offer their hands. Let them know that a strong man is a man who gives.

They also have to be respectful. All the above gentlemanly actions must be offered subtly, and if necessary, set aside graciously when refused.

Your boys should know that forcing themselves on women is not right. Fathers, teach your sons not to rape. They should learn to exercise self control when it comes to sex. Boys should know that no means no.

Teach your sons that real men take responsibility for their actions, choices, values, and beliefs. And while taking responsibility, a real man is also willing to admit when he is wrong.

Your sons should know that real strength allows other people in. Real men are honest about their feelings and are not afraid to show emotions. Your sons shouldn’t build a wall where there should be a window or a fortress where there should be a sanctuary.

Teach your sons that real men don’t just stand up and speak up, they put up too. True manhood involves finding a need and doing something about it. Real men don’t point fingers, they work for solutions.

Real men listen respectfully, disagree politely and never exclude women from conversations. True manhood is inclusive. It may be strong, but it’s unfailingly polite. Men who equate bluster or machismo with strength are typically covering something up.

True manhood understands that brute force is less compelling than self-giving love. Fathers should teach their sons that the best solutions to difficulties involved applied love.

Your sons should know that true manhood means exercising self control when they are tempted to lash out. There’s a lot of restraint and a great deal of quiet strength in true manhood that fathers should teach their sons. Real men tend to always have something in reserve.

Boys should also know that true manhood is more about giving than about getting. Our culture often has this “men see what they want, then they go out and get it” view of manhood. But true manhood is more along the lines of see what the world needs, then go out and do it. Being a real man means strength leveraged for the benefit of others.