This writer believes that opening with a little reverse psychology can in a big way shine a light on this subject matter. So, what is honour really not? Honour is not in a gift. Honour is not eye-service.
Honour is not necessarily in a big position. Honour is not a big house. Honour is not a big car. Honour is not big money.
Honour is not big-for-nothing. Honour is not a big name that adds value only to self and family and cronies. Honour is not a big man who rules over chronic small men. Honour is not a big woman who does only small things.
Honour is not good-for-nothing. Honour is not hoarded wealth. Honour is not the only one-eyed man in the land of the blind. Honour is not the blessing that people curse.
Please, go back to that last line and read it again, this time slowly. Honour is not a curse in disguise. Honour is not both a boon and a bane. No, honour is not double-barrelled nor in the business of double-crossing.
Honour is not double-edged. Honour is not double-entry. Honour is not double-faced. Honour is not double-minded.
Honour is not doublespeak, what North Americans call double-talk. Honour is not double standard. Honour is not double take. Honour is not on the exclusive list -it will never be.
Honour is not partial. Honour is not racist. Honour is not selective. Honour is not a stunt.
Honour is not one-way traffic. Honour is not sauce for just the goose. Honour is not like that fruit in the Garden of Eden. Honour is not as we have made it.
Honour is not dishonourable. You may read that, again; this time aloud or louder. Honour is not dishonourable. Honour does not need big packaging.
That is, honour can be given in small doses. Honour can be dispensed in small wraps. Honour is so big it does not need or require any extraneous blandishment or add-on. Honour is complete by itself; honour does not honour in order to be honoured.
Don’t get it twisted. Honour is not gifting a house or a car or money or allied big stuff. However, it can be each and all of the above, if done honourably. Honour is gifting directly, privately or secretly, quietly.
First Lady Martha Udom Emmanuel of Akwa Ibom State once taught me a lesson of what I call honourable giving. During the days of Hon. Itoro Columba as elected chairman of Ikono Local Government, she attended some event at the local government secretariat in Ibiaku Ntok Okpo. At the end, as security and protocol guarded and guided her down the stage and away from the hall, she broke away and walked to the paramount ruler and his chiefs, knelt down and presented them a gift. That was honour given to honourable people by an honourable woman.
That giving was honour. It can be said that, by the governor’s wife according the traditional rulers respect the way she did, honour honoured honourable, honourably. Honour is considerate and humble. Honour is respectable and respectful.
Honour is big, all-round. Honour is a big word. Honour is a big act. Honour is a big value-adding tender.
Honour is a big personality. Honour is sacrifice. Honour is value added. Honour is of the heart.
Honour is love. Honour can be a smile. Honour can be a word. Honour can be a greeting.
Honour is an act of godliness. Honour is an act of kindness. Honour is an act of intentionality. Honour is an act of selflessness.
Honour is democrat. Honour is by, for and of all. The big honour the small. The small honour the big.
The rich honour the poor. The poor honour the rich. Leaders honour the people. The people honour leadership.
Christians honour Muslims. Muslims honour Christians. All worshippers honour non-worshippers. All non-worshippers honour worshippers.
Oga honour boy. Bosses honour staff. Captains honour team members. Kings honour subjects.
That’s what honour is, really. When all sides, all ages, all classes, all genders and all colours are considered, loved, provided for, respected and represented on the table. Honour is an alienable human right. Honour is for even the black, even the blind, even the poor, even the minority, even the unborn, even the weak, even the worst.
Honour is the golden rule. You have to honour me. I must honour you. Friends and enemies must honour the other.
Honour leaves no space for guesswork or election. You cannot choose who to honour, because you must honour all. You are not a creation of dishonour. Honour honours all; honour never dishonours.
How then do you treat someone who dishonours you in perpetuity? Of course, they are not you. You must always be you. Just as you must love your enemies in and out of season, you must also honour the dishonourable; you must at all times honour plus including those who dishonour you.
Which reminds me of some more is nots of honour. Honour is not for the fainthearted or foolish brave school of thought. Honour is not for those who wallow in inferiority or superiority complex. Honour is not for those who are so insufficient or so oversufficient they always want to prove a point.
Honour is not a point that must be proved. In fact, honour has nothing to prove: not a desire, not a point, not a sense. Honour is honour, everywhere, every time, every day. Honour is wisdom.
Honour doesn’t intimidate, doesn’t kill, doesn’t fight lousy ego wars; for instance in Ukraine. Such wars are caused, planned and executed by dishonour -a rather fine name for bitter hate. Dishonour prances to and fro looking for whom to insult or destroy. Dishonour is ungodly, stupid and reckless.
Honour is a person who understands and acts according to the times, the seasons and the tides. Such a one knows first of all, when to be present and second of all, when to be absent and third of all, when to be both. You are present when and where needed or necessary and absent when and where it is wrong to be present. You are simultaneously present and absent when and where you have privileged information you should never divulge!
Honour is protection. You honour your parent(s), teacher, priest, leader, boss or the flippersons (you catch that?) by treating them as yourself. Protect them complete with their family, their interest, and their information (a loaded euphemism, this) no matter what. Honour is defence and attack, in front and behind.
Have you ever honoured somebody? This serves as a reminder for you to honour someone today, shall you? Honour is life. Honour all so you may live and enjoy a life of honour.
God bless Nigeria!
Interesting conversation between time and money (2)
(To be continued next Monday)