A subscriber to this column called last week with respect to the following: My name is or My names are—which of the two is correct? ‘My name is…’ is the correct version because we do not put a comma behind each name: Ebere, Nnamdi, (and) Wabara. Nobody does that! It is correct in both formal and informal situations. Its usage is perfect and establishes individuality. ‘My names are…’ sounds awkward! That it is commonly used even by the literati does not confer registry on it. Its illogicality is recognizable even by brilliant kindergarteners. Ubiquity of application of the mysterious expression cannot supplant orderliness and morphological sequence. So, my name is Eberechukwu Nnamdi Wabara. Biblical references also support this position: (John 5-43: ‘I have come in My Father’s name….’); (Acts 4-12: ‘…for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved’) and (Acts 10-43: ‘To Him all the prophets witness that, through His name, whoever believes in him will receive remission of sins’). Informally, someone can ask you, what are your names, but formally unacceptable. Constructive and well-researched reactions are welcome, if need be.

THE GUARDIAN of June 20 offered its esteemed readers an avalanche of commercialese and editorial improprieties: “Institute’s chief lists gains of cassava-based foods to diabetes’ patients” News (exclusive to and for Rutam House): diabetic patients (or diabetics as context/style demands).

“Egypt’s military pledges to hand power to elected president” African News: hand over power

“…and restrictions to (on) freedom of movement, expression, assembly and religion.”

“Establishment of light training school tickle (tickles) Ugwuanyi”

“The Board, Management and Staff of NCR (Nigeria) Plc. (sic) congratulate our chairman….” (Full-page Advert by NCR) Experience a new world of interaction: delete the full-stop after ‘PLC’ (and also take note of the upper case).

“Commission ties quality service delivery on (to) funding”

“Series of interventions aimed at preventing….” For the record: a series of interventions….

“…majority of them are free of charge or what is known in legal parlance as pro bono.” Law people: a majority of them….

Finally from THE GUARDIAN under review: “Unforgetable…the anguish I feel at (in) loosing you….” Spell-check: unforgettable and losing.

“Poverty remains one of the most serious problems confronting the developing world, a world in which the poor is (are) struggling to stay alive.”

“These kind of policy measures from an economic standpoint are pro-growth and pro-poor.”  (Source: as above) An option: this kind or these kinds.

“Is (Are) there some barriers that may prevent you from developing a serious liaison with them?  Is this carelessness or half-literacy?

“Nigerians are by nature very compassionate, almost to a fault, their brothers’ keepers you may say.” Plurality notwithstanding, the stock expression is ‘brother’s keeper.’

“We believe there is no discernible excuse for the shortage except bureaucratic bottleneck or non-challance.”  Let us write well: nonchalance.

“…was guest at Vanguard Newspapers yesterday during which he rubbed minds with Vanguard editors.” Could that have been possible? He only exchanged ideas/discussed with Vanguard editors—there was no supernatural ‘rubbing of minds’!

“There cannot be a single solution to the plethora of problems confronting the refineries which often result to (in) fuel scarcity.”

“There was a case of a couple that (who) divorced on the ground of sexual disequilibrium.” (Daily Independent, June 21) The right chemistry: on grounds of sexual….

Related News

“The husband got himself involved with another lady and pregnated her.” (Source: as above) What lascivious men do: impregnate (not pregnate) ladies indiscriminately!

“She shook her head, gasped for breathe and bit her lips as the stared forlornly at the air.”  First, verb: breathe; noun: breath.  Second, you stare in (not at) the air.

“…the incursion of the ‘419’ kingpins into the area whose lifestyle, like that of the drug lords, was a superfluous display of pomp and pageantry.”  Post correctly: pomp and ceremony (or circumstance). 

“Properties and cash carted away worth millions of naira….” Except in special applications (contexts) like physical science and mortgage, ‘property’ is uncountable.

“The UNILAG supporters advocate without restrain that premium institution with global linkages should be allowed to retain its brand equity.” Verb: restrain; noun: restraint.

“Nigeria…to bath in the same pond, on the same spot, where four years ago, instead of limpid water, it scooped putrid grit.”  Verb: bathe; noun: bath.

“It was late (the late) Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe who….”

“Second, because Abacha was not forthcoming in his plan to handover power….” Phrasal verb: hand over (two words), for the second time in this edition.

“But the Awo legacy is not based on half-truths and double standards” The vindication of Bola Ige: double standard.

“It has been postulated ever since the country joined the bandwagon of free enterprise….” Standard expression: climb/jump on or aboard the bandwagon.

Wrong: flanked by daughter in-laws (sic)

Right: flanked by daughters-in-law

“Claims settlement processes is (sic) another factor.” Is this a business insurance joke? An advice: Claims settlement processes represent, pose…another factor—among other verbal options

“It’s time our looted artefacts return home, FG tells Britain” Are the artefacts going to return by themselves, as the headline suggests?

“Young man allegedly shot by vigilante (vigilance) group” (Oriental News, July 5)

“Citi and TechnoServe boost resilience amongst (among) businesses in Nigeria”

“Unfortunately, past efforts by the government and security agents to restore peace in (to) the affected areas did not succeed.”

Amnesty to bandits in Imo: “Let there be realistic plans to encourage the bandits to come out of their hideout (hideouts).”