A man was very sick and the diagnosis wasn’t good. It was a terminal disease with minimal chances of survival. There was an option but it was capital intensive. He was willing to take his chances.
His wife and grown children felt otherwise. It might be an effort in futility, they said. They also succeeded in convincing other family members to discourage him from fighting for his life as well.
Why waste that much money, when he has just little chances of survival? They asked. They said that at his age, he has lived a good life. But he was more than willing to take his chances. He was not completely incapacitated. Their opinion doesn’t matter as long as he still has breath, can afford it and still can take decisions, he would rather exhaust his options.
He needed someone he trusted aside his family. This person will carry out his wish even if he becomes vegetative after surgery or passes on eventually. His car mechanic of many years readily came to mind. He is an honest and trusted man. Blank cheques were signed. The hospital was aware of who to give the medical bills to.
He came out of surgery barely alive and remained unconscious for several weeks. His wife and children visited as much as they could, even though his decision to explore the capital intensive option didn’t go down well with them. The mechanic was at the hospital every day until he regained consciousness and recovered fully.
I once listened to a phone conversation between some relatives. While her brother was in a critical condition at the hospital, they had no funds to foot his already swollen medical bills. They cried out to the public for assistance and help came. Although his health was deteriorating by the day, she was spending every dime donated to get the best treatment for her only brother to live again.
Then came her cousins. They told her the money she’s spending on treating her brother may be a waste. They insinuated this could be the avenue through which God wants to uplift their family financially.
They advised she saves the donations instead. That if God wants her brother to survive, he will survive anyway, if not he will still not make it alive no matter the amount spent.
She called their bluff. It’s her brother and she would rather spend the money than live with the guilt of letting him die by not trying hard to help him get better and get back on his feet.
Her brother passed on eventually. Her cousins called her unprintable names for refusing to heed to their advise. That her brother finally died and still left her in abject poverty.
Be careful who you listen to and who you make your next of kin. Some family members are not of sound mind. People are deep, even deeper than you can ever imagine. You could be married, sharing your life and vulnerabilities, but your spouse doesn’t really care much about you. If they are to choose, they will choose money or religious beliefs over your health or life. Making such spouse your next of kin is like signing your own death warrant.
Your next of kin should be a person you are convinced wants you alive. It should be a person that will not hesitate to take a decision that would keep you alive. It should be a person you share common beliefs and values with. And this person doesn’t have to be your spouse or your own child.
Experience has shown that sometimes your spouse, children and sibling will not mind losing you to death. To some, because of their religious beliefs, they won’t allow you get a blood transfusion even if it means you dying.
Some would refuse their wives giving birth through cesarean section. They will not sign consent form. There are people who would rather rush you in an unconscious state to a prayer house rather than to the hospital. Some will not allow the doctors commence treatment in emergency situation until their pastor or imam gives approval. Many have died avoidable deaths because of their choices of next of kin.
Do not be fooled by those who swarm around you while you are hale and hearty, most will not break a sweat to save you if need be. They may even discourage or fight those who are willing to go all out for you.
Do not make just anyone your next of kin because you are married to them or because they are related to you. Your child who is still a child cannot and should not be your next of kin. When choosing your next of kin, choose wisely, knowing that you would be at the mercy of that person at some point in your life.