Augustus, an accomplished businessman from Bayelsa State, got a good pummelling from his wife that left him bleeding from several points on his body. The hapless man had a close shave with death when his wife smashed a beer bottle on his head. What happened to Augustus opened a dangerous new vista where women now beat their husbands black and blue, unlike what used to obtain when it was men that beat their wives. Whether done by a man or woman, spousal battering is condemnable. Augustus, who in this instance was the victim of domestic violence, sobbed like a baby.
Hmm! You wonder what could have gone wrong, that reduced Augustus to being given such ignominious treatment in his own home. Beyond the more common verbal abuse, his wife, Peggy, had taken the situation to the next level by frequently launching violent attacks on him at the slightest provocation. What prompted the most recent incident was the man’s s innocent inquiry to know about his wife’s whereabouts as she had developed a tendency to leaving the house at will and spends hours away from home, to return when she chooses. At such moments, Augustus would perceive the stench of alcohol on her body. His demand to know where she came from caused an altercation. In the course of the hot exchange, Augustus angrily shot at Peggy: “A woman who is drunk with alcohol, would she be in a conscious state to know when a man attempts to take advantage of her state for illicit sex?”
Deeply infuriated that the husband had practically called her a slut, Peggy descended on her husband. With ferocity of her attack, accentuated by her huge frame, Peggy gave Augustus the beating of his life. Neighbours intervened to rescue Augustus and rushed to the hospital where chances of survival were thin due to the extent of injuries sustained and amount of blood lost according to the doctor. The union of couple had not produced any child.
Now, the question is: should there be a march by men, to protest this new dawn of women unleasing domestic violence and physical harm on their husband? We have witnessed protest marches by women against domestic violence by men. In this instance, who will go on a march to protest the new spate of violence perpetrated against men?
Still asking, who would lead the protest and get justice on behalf of the many men who get ill-treated by their spouses in different ways? Who will hold the flag for men? That Peggy thrashed her husband is not the only offence women commit against their husbands that needs to be addressed.
In the same vein, a certain class of married women now gather at big shopping malls and drinking joints to wait for their young lovers, who they refer to as ‘vaccum cleaners” – whatever that is supposed to mean. Not all the people you see at the big malls actually came buy things. Some earnestly came to shop while some came to fulfill a ‘vacuum cleaning’ appointment with a young lover. They gather in trickles, make orders for choice food and drinks, relax and wait for their young lover vacuum cleaners. When the boys arrive, they would not sit with them on the same table, but would be at an identifiable distance. The two corrupt minds with Android phones in their hands would organize and take their leave to execute their illicit vacuum cleaning affair. It used to be hidden, but now it is done openly and boldly discussed among the group of women. The bubble of the sordid practice was when an unfortunate incident happened recently, when a baby left sleeping at home fell from upstairs and died. What happened was that the madam of the house went out for vacuum cleaning and the maid left too. Innocent child woke up and needed attention but there was nobody around. He crawled towards the balcony and fell off from a two-storey-building and died.
A new sister who was about to be introduced into the cartel was put off by the things her friends told her and she tried to caution them. Instead they shut her down, saying, “You are preaching because you are stuck with your old husband and marriage of 24 years. Have you ever been vacuum cleaned by a young blood? Your head will scatter.” This is the latest vibe in town where women you would think are responsible and respected go all out to attract young lovers whose sole desire is to elaborate and unhindered knowledge of madam’s private haven.
This is scenario has tossed the marriage creed that enjoins spouses to live ‘for better for worse, in sickness and in health” till death makes them part into the trash can. In situations like these, who holds the flag for the men? Who seeks justice for them? Let us not be deceived, men also go through their own version of sleepless nights, stress and trauma just like the women do. I know that most of my readers will trash for this. It is part of the job and very accepted. Somebody would ask, what about the men who keep side chicks? The parameter of judgment and healing in the case of husband’s or wife’s infidelity, should it be a continuous effort of promiscuity on both sides? Should both run around in stupidity and recklessness to prove what point and for how long?
Be it as it may, promiscuity is not the only danger zone equated as bad behavior in women which the men also stomach for peace to reign. Who will hold the flag for the men who are dealing with spiritually brain-washed women whose religious leaders tell when to breath and not? This problem has devastated many homes. Women who do not wear their thinking caps again, but rely on the false prophesies that ruin them and create unnecessary enmity in families and communities. This brings to mind with nostalgia a woman who burnt the hands of her two grandfchildren many years ago and was aired on the Nigeria Television Authority (NTA) network news because her prophet prophesied that her grandchildren were possessed with witchcraft. Therefore, as a cure, the prophet asked the grandmother to burn the hands and fingers of the innocent children, claiming that they would confess and get delivered from the spirit of witchcraft. Supposed grandmother destroyed completely her own grandchildren to obey and please her prophet. What a wicked grandmother! The mangled fingers of the boy, 8 and the girl aged 6, became an eyesore. The Mama met her Waterloo and into the cold embrace of the law.
Who will lead the protest to expose men who are covering up thieving wives? These kinds of wives do not steal, but when they walk past something gets missing. Are all men happy in their relationships? Men who are married to such women, do they not need the support of their kinsmen to get the problem solved?
Have we forgotten women who patronize native doctors or is it only men who are caught in the web? This is a very common habit among trading women to outdo each other. Has it benefitted anyone? No, it has rather caused bad blood.
Dear Nigerian women, do not think that because you have not been caught makes you a perfect being. If you are giving your husband secret headache, know that nemesis will catch up with you some day soon. This is the day to repent and to forsake evil practices.