I was a soccer fanatic, I liked to watch football, but society happened. It happened not because of any fault of mine except that I am a Woman.
I was born into a family that loves football. My father, brothers and other extended family members were all soccer enthusiasts. Even though my Mum wasn’t a soccer fan, whenever Nigeria is playing, she sits with us all to watch. With this consciousness, I grew deeply into loving the sport.
My room wall paper was football posters.
Growing up Serie A (Italian League) was one of the biggest football Leagues in the World. Clubs like Sheffield Wednesday of England were Big then. AC Milan, Regina of Italy, Juventus, PSG of France etc those football years were fun.
Then Atlanta ‘96 happened. I remember we stayed up late most nights just to watch our darling dream team. Our house was like the football viewing center in my neighborhood and when Nigeria won the under 23 Olympics gold, wee celebrated that victory for months.
My love for football was on all time high, I started buying sports newspapers. I would subscribe for football magazines that cost as much as N700 monthly and it was delivered via post office.
As a teenager, I wrote articles that got published on sports papers. My father’s newspaper back pages was a must read. I couldn’t wait for the end of network News on NTA just to listen to sports news.
France ‘98 World Cup came and passed, and everyday I sat in front of the screen watching and recording yellow cards, red cards, who scored what and at what time. It was crazy and my parents never bugged me as long as I did my chores and read my books.
I took my love for soccer with me to Enugu in 2001/2002. My Uncle didn’t mind because he also liked the game. We stayed up late to watch Japan/Korea 2002 World Cup. He would laugh when he sees me taking notes. We were at the Nnamdi Azikiwe stadium whenever Rangers International were playing.
When I got admitted into the university, my love for the game was sustained because the University made provisions for football rooms, cable subscriptions were paid.
We went to those common rooms to watch live matches free of charge, except on few occasions when we had to contribute money to power the generator as backup against NEPA’s disappointment.
In football rooms, you could see few female soccer enthusiasts who also came to watch current football matches and yours sincerely must be there.
While in school, whenever Nigeria was playing at the National Stadium Abuja, I would travel from Jos to watch them live in Abuja. It cost me comfort and money (transport, hotel accommodation, feeding, black market tickets into stadium, but who cares?
During my NYSC, it became increasingly impossible to watch soccer in my apartment. The reason was that it cost more to subscribe for live matches and I was barely at home except on weekends.
I had two options, I either visit a bar/lounge, order for a bottle of whatever I drink or take pepper soup just so I could watch live matches or visit any football viewing centres in the neighborhood, but I couldn’t do that for my own safety.
I was in a relationship at the time, and when I told my then boyfriend of my intentions, he left a stern warning “Don’t visit any bar alone in the name of watching football, except I am around”. I asked why? and he said “Only prostitutes visit bars/lounges alone” yet he didn’t proffer any solution to my problem.
As a typical Nigerian girlfriend, I sat in my house all by myself, dying in silence, meanwhile he was in his own city lounging and watching soccer in different bars, but I would be home waiting for final scores and who scored what.
I became frustrated and shut down the desire to watch soccer. I developed an indifferent attitude towards the sport I was passionate about just to fit in. The average African woman will give up anything just to conform to what society refers to as being ‘virtuous’.
Maybe if people judged less, some of us would have become FIFA executives, referees, one of the most sought after female football analysts, NFF executives, club owners, you just name it!
My grouse is that it is always women who have to give up a lot of themselves to make the relationship/marriage work. A woman gives up her career, education, opportunities, passion etc, while men chase theirs uninterrupted.
All in the name of being a ‘good girl’, ladies would plead with male friends to hang out with them just so they can cool off some steam to avoid any form of labels. It is tiring what this does to women.
After I ended that relationship, I did what I like and damned the consequences. I became a non-conformist. I go wherever I want by myself, buy whatever I can afford and do whatever I like as long as it is the right thing. It doesn’t matter who is watching and taking notes. I stopped living for anyone’s approval. I live the life I love. I’m on this earth to live a fulfilled life.