Tony Ogaga
Talk show host, entrepreneur and philanthropist, Belinda Babila, has been at the forefront of bringing relief to the Southern Cameroon (Ambazonians) refugees currently in IDP camps in Ogoja, Cross Rivers State.
In this chat, the Dallas, Texas-based founder of Dr. Belinda Babila Foundation talks about her childhood, challenges running her NGO and recalls how she was physically and emotionally abused by her former husband, among other interesting issues. Enjoy it.
Tell us about yourself and growing up?
I am from a family of seven siblings. I am the third child. Three being the number of the Trinity, I’ve always been a very special child. We were middle class and dad was an accountant. I was not born with a golden spoon but with golden values. My parents instilled the spirit of giving in me. As a child, I watched my parents give relentlessly. Dad was the most affluent in the family. He sponsored a lot of my cousins, neighbours’ children and many more. We lived a middle class life and I used to look forward to Christmas, because we got to go shopping. I have many fun memories of my childhood.
Why are you so passionate about refugees, especially the Ambazonians?
The Ambazonians are victims of the devastating effects of war. As a humanitarian, that’s an area I hold close to my heart. Someone has to be the voice for these voiceless refugees, and I have chosen to stand up for them. It’s so close to my heart that our Foundation has a disaster/emergency relief campaign, specially dedicated to them, because I can’t overlook the current situation of the Ambazonian refugees. Every human life is important to us. At Belinda Babila Foundation, we fight for equality and social justice, which is one of our core values.
You’ve been among others to the IDP camp in Ogoja a couple of times. How have you been funding your relief and intervention drive?
We’ve been doing it through generous and kind-hearted friends and family members. 60 per cent of the funding are from my personal donations, which I sourced from my earnings. Being the visionaire, I have to push the dream. I believe that, at the appointed time, the big donors will join us and fund our projects. We have not had any international funding or assistance yet. I’m very optimistic that 2019 will be the year of the manifestation of great funding, so we can meet up with the huge projects we have at hand.
You’re a single mum. How have you been coping?
God’s grace has been super amazing in my life. He has endowed me with this inexplicable supernatural energy. My life is extremely busy and strategically managed. I’m a fervent applicator of time management. I have two teenage children. One is 17 and the other 18. My daughter and son are both in high school and active in sports. My personal organiser and to-do-list planner are my best friends. They help me manage my children, the Foundation, my healthcare business, clothing line, party rental business and my global consulting/solutions platform. Passion fuels all my activities. I enjoy everything I do. I spend quality time with my kids. Fridays and Sundays are reserved for the kids. We go to the movies on Fridays and eat out after church on Sundays. My daughter sings beautifully and I’m encouraging her to sing gospel music. My children are all A+ students. We put God first because of our absolute and unshakable trust in God. He’s the father to my children. We always take annual vacations.
You’re young, beautiful and upwardly mobile. Who is the man in your life?
(Laughter) All these attributes without being a servant to God are futile. The man right now in my life is Jesus. God always has beautiful and wonderful plans for His children. The Foundation is my earthly husband while waiting on God’s time. I’m extremely committed to my benevolent work.
What is your take on domestic violence?
Any man who abuses a woman has low self-esteem and lacks confidence. I’m a fervent believer in dialogue. There’s nothing that can’t be resolved via dialogue. Violence has never solved any problem; rather, it aggravates it. I say ‘no’ to domestic violence. If you have irreconcilable differences, part in peace and not in pieces, especially after therapy and counseling have failed.
Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence?
Yes, I was a victim of terrible domestic violence. My ex-husband abused me physically and emotionally. Dialogue with him never worked. Like I said earlier, only men with low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence lay their hands on women they claim to love. I had to walk away from a husband who brought his girlfriend to sleep on our matrimonial bed, which I purchased with my own money. The disrespect was beyond words. I have no respect or regard for a man who refuses to take care of his children. The Bible commands us to look after our children until they are independent. Again, you can only give what you have. How can you give happiness and love when you never lived it or experienced it?
How were you able to cope after parting with your former husband?
It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I decided to stop crying over spilled milk. So, one day I stood up, dusted myself, wiped my tears, and handed over the case to God for divine judgment. I told myself ‘Belinda, get out of this pity party and put on the amour of courage and fight with all your power and might to fulfill your destiny’. I took on personal development studies and renewed my mind and beliefs. I changed my environment and friends and cut off anything negative, and filled my life with absolute positivity. That was when I discovered my purpose and began living a purposeful life. I deleted anything or person who was an obstacle to the manifestation of my dreams and vision. I had a fire and unquenchable thirst for knowledge. I read books, listened to great and successful people. I read their autobiographies and made sure to apply most of their success strategies. I read financial books, Bible and biblical manuals, and followed great preachers and speakers. I attended empowerment conferences and much more, and I told myself I wanted to be the young female Dangote of my generation. On this note, let me state that I’d love to have a 15-minute interview with Dangote. I know spending 15 minutes and gleaning inspiration from his words of wisdom is one of the most valuable assets money can’t buy. There is power in a renewed mind. Every greatness starts from within. You need to tell your mind what you want to see in your life. In my talk show, Dr. Belinda Speaks, I always say ‘dream it, pin it and live it’. Never limit yourself because you’re what you believe you are. My power sentence is ‘always believe you can’.
What’s your advice for women in abusive relationships?
Always seek the face of God in prayers. After that, follow up with counseling and therapy. Assess the results for improvement. If it’s positive, then work out your relationship and live in happiness and health. If the results are negative, then, leave the relationship. You owe yourself happiness. Never wait on anyone else to initiate your happiness. They can only add to it. Remember, happiness always begins from within, so live, love and laugh always. That is my success principle.
What advice do you have for young girls who want to take after you?
The first advice is to fervently believe in God and yourself. Replace fear with absolute courage. Refuse any human limitation imposed on you. Your dreams have to be bigger than you; otherwise, it’s not a dream. Put on the helmet of hard work. You can never be successful in life by being lazy. Erase and permanently delete the spirit of procrastination and embrace an action prone spirit. Sit back and do a thorough unbiased self-evaluation of your life and ask yourself this question: ‘am I satisfied or unsatisfied with where I want to be in life?’ Honestly answer these questions and then decide to fight with all the strength you have, to fulfill your dreams. And above all, always remember to put God first and everything else will be added to you.
Against the backdrop of your experience, would you still give marriage a chance?
Yes, of course. Marriage is very noble. This time around, I’m fervently trusting God to send me a God fearing partner and a man of vision. I’ll hate to tag along with a visionless and un-purposeful person. My ideal man should be God fearing, hardworking, ambitious, vision driven and purposeful. I’m talking about a man who values the worth of a woman.