For those who want a credible spiritual authority to support the view that marriage is not for everyone, let me remind us of what Jesus said…
Ladi Ayodeji
Marriage is desirable but it is not compulsory for all men. In other words, not all men can or should get married. By marriage, I mean the consensual, legal, conjugal union between a man and woman who love each other.
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While marriage is truly a worthwhile enterprise, it is not, and has never been divinely recommended for all men, as is widely believed. Marriage is good and is ideally fulfilling but not all men are called to the marriage institution. It is not true that procreation or the need to raise children is why men and woman should marry. We marry because we so desire and are fully qualified.
Animals, who are not part of the marriage estate procreate without being married. Some plants, produce by pollination without being married. The marital institution is a special honour or privilege that the Almighty God gave exclusively to human beings. It is ordained by God Himself to be consummated between man and woman, not by same sex couples as being shamelessly canvassed or practiced today in some permissive, decadent societies around the world.
For those who want a credible spiritual authority to support the view that marriage is not for everyone, let me remind us of what Jesus said: “Some men are eunuchs from their mother’s womb, some are made eunuchs by men, while some others made themselves eunuchs (celibate) for the sake of the kingdom of God”. I have paraphrased this for easy comprehension.
What Jesus is saying is that these three categories of men – born eunuchs, eunuchs by affliction or election of office and celibates do not marry. It is not a sin. A eunuch is a man who is incapable of sexual intercourse. Some are born with this health challenge, like a child born blind, crippled or with other health deficiencies. A born eunuch cannot marry because he lacks the ability to have sex, which is a vital obligation in marriage.
Any man who is a born eunuch, or is not sexually vibrant by nature and has failed to get a cure for this serious ailment should not marry, because it would be wrong to do so. Ability to have sex is vital to the success of any marriage. So, keep off if you are a eunuch and have no solution to your infirmity.
A man who is made eunuch or impotent by men and is unable to get cure should also not marry because he, too, like the born eunuch, is incapable of sexual obligations to his wife. You should not go into marriage as a eunuch, hoping to get healed. You should get the permanent healing before you marry. You don’t gamble with such a crucial thing.
The man who is sexually healthy but choose to become celibate for religious reasons, like the catholic priests, do not normally marry. Those ones took a voluntary vow of fidelity to Jesus Christ only. They don’t need to marry. If, however, they get involved in secret (sexual) affairs, or worse, in homosexual relationships, they have broken their vows and have committed a grave sin. If a celibate person is at some point, unable to keep their bodies, they should marry. It is not a sin.
There are men who are celibate for reasons other than the kingdom or other religious obligations. Such men are confirmed bachelors. They cannot be trusted because some still keep women and engage in fornication. They merely avoid marital commitment. They want to eat their cake and have it. They want to enjoy sexual relationships without being married. That is a sin, indeed.
If you don’t believe in marriage, stay off sex. As far as God is concerned men and women can not have sex outside marriage. It is forbidden, because we are not animals. Any man or woman, who reduces him or herself to a life of free sexual intercourse outside marriage, has reduced themselves to the level of animals.
Women are sexually stronger than men in that their sexual health cannot be harmed spiritually in the womb like men, who may either be born as eunuchs or made so by spiritual attacks instigated by men. No woman is under any divine obligation not to marry, although she may choose to remain single for the sake of kingdom service. It is not a sin. Women are of a lower calling, so they should marry.
If you are married, but you don’t really like being married, you don’t love children, or appreciate being a father, there’s a possibility that you were called to be single, if your heart is sold to the kingdom. This may be why some pastors have bad marriages or end up being divorced. You stand a chance of getting into an unsuccessful marriage if your passion for God overwhelms your urge to settle down with a woman for life.
Those who have a higher calling like the great saints of old – Elijah, John the Baptist, Paul, etc. should pray hard for divine grace to live a sinless life as a single and serve God without the urge for sex because their anointing should put it under subjection.
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Weekend Spice: As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation – Hans Selye.
Ok folks, let’s do it again next Friday. Stay motivated.
Ladi Ayodeji is an Author, Rights Activist, Pastor and Life coach. He can be reached on 09059243004 (sms & WhatsApp only)