When I listen to ladies cry about being dumped by guys they loved and gave their all to, my heart breaks for them. Hearing them ask why their boyfriends broke up with them over and over again makes me sigh.
Sometimes, these ladies begin to question themselves. They start asking if they were not good enough for these guys they were willing to do anything for just to prove how much they love and cherish them.
Some ladies end up depressed and even attempt suicide when a guy breaks up with them. I have heard many stories of break ups. I have heard stories of break ups with valid reasons and ridiculous ones too. Some break ups leave ladies hoping there would be no tomorrow.
Suffering a break up can be heartbreaking. It hurts when the guy you are dating suddenly breaks up with you. It hurts even more when he doesn’t give you a reason for ending things. You are left wondering what you did wrong or what happened to the love you once shared.
There are some possible reasons why guys break up with women. Some men can decide to end their relationships when there are more fighting than having fun. When the bad times outweigh the good ones, most men think it is time to call it quits. In the end, it doesn’t make sense to stay in a relationship that makes you miserable.
A placeholder relationship is when one person is more committed than the other. In this example, the man is less committed than the woman and he’s just in the relationship out of convenience, likely until he finds someone better. If he ends your relationship seemingly out of nowhere, he probably found her.
Many times, I tell ladies to make sure the men they love also love them back in return. If you love a man who doesn’t care about you but you keep forcing yourself on him, he will end things one day and you will hurt for a long time.
If a man is not into you, leave him alone. Stop acting out those famous Nollywood scripts by trying to win a man’s heart with food, sex and gifts. It won’t end well. If a guy isn’t that into you or feels like you are way more into him than he is into you, he’s probably going to end things.
If your relationship is starting to negatively affect a man’s career, education, or relationships with his friends and family, he’s not likely to want to continue. Guys need fulfilling relationships with other people too, just like women do.
This is why I don’t understand ladies who easily give up their jobs, dreams, friends and family members just to be with abusive and controlling guys. Guys don’t give up what they hold dear for women, why should you sacrifice your friendships because of a man?
If you are too jealous or controlling or you are both just spending too much time together, it may start to affect his other relationships. If that happens, you may be the one who gets cut from the team and he will do this without feeling guilty or falling for your tears. Men know what they want and go for it without sentiments.
Some men break up with women because they can’t see themselves marrying these women. There might be something about you or your relationship with him that he just doesn’t like and doesn’t want to endure for the rest of his life.
Everyone has flaws, but if there’s a large issue in some part of your relationship that doesn’t seem like it’s going to get fixed, your guy might decide that he doesn’t want to argue about it every night for the rest of his life. He might even decide to break up with you when you clearly refuse to change that negative aspect of yourself.
Along the same line, if you have a personality trait or set of values that just don’t blend well with his values or personality, this may be the reason he decides to break up with you. He might tell you this or spare you the details by just telling you that it’s over between you both.
A man can break up with you if you are not who he thought you were. A lot of people begin dating with certain expectations or beliefs about who the person is usually based on some real and superficial things. Even the first several dates aren’t always a good gauge of a person’s true personality because most people are on their best behavior.
If your new boyfriend suddenly breaks up with you, it could be because he thought you a different type of person than you are. This could be because you presented yourself differently or it could just be because his perception of you was off in the beginning.
If you and your guy didn’t get past the small talk stage, he might decide to find someone he can really connect with. If you both couldn’t develop a deeper connection after months of dating, he might decide to look for that woman who will give him what he’s looking for. You don’t have to have deep and meaningful conversations all the time, but if you can’t have one at all, that’s a problem.
Some women are so negative, caustic and toxic. These women leave their men feeling awful, useless and angry with their words and behaviour. Like women, men like to be in relationships that make them feel good.
No sane person wants to be stuck in a toxic relationship that is draining them emotionally, physically and psychologically except some desperate Nigerian ladies who want to get married at all costs just to pepper their friends and family members.
If your entire relationship consists of complaining about your co-workers, shouting about the number of women he greeted or who called him or you are constantly in a bad mood about nothing in particular, he may decide that he doesn’t want to be around your negativity all the time and that is okay.
Sometimes you get in a fight and no one is willing to calm down and listen to the other person. If a guy gets too angry about a situation, he may dump you in the heat of the moment. Only time will tell whether he actually meant it or not and how long he’s going to stay angry about it.
If a man has something else that demands his attention, he may break up with you. Maybe he has to move out of state, a family member is ill, or he got a new job.
Sometimes there are things in life that take all of our time and mental energy, and if you can’t be supportive or go with him, you might end up as collateral damage. This is not your fault but it happens.
So ladies, the fact that a man broke up with you doesn’t mean it is the end of your life. Stop threatening to harm or kill yourself if he doesn’t come back to you. That’s emotional blackmail and it doesn’t speak well of you. You can’t force a man to remain in a relationship with you.
If a man breaks up with you, it also doesn’t make sense to start threatening to kill him because you spent donkey years together if things didn’t work out between you two. It’s a relationship not a prison sentence. Learn to let go!
Re: Your happiness is your responsibility
I am yet to understand why weak, wicked and thoughtless men feel that the best way to enjoy life is to humiliate truthful and innocent ladies. As a father and pastor, my heart is deeply pained about the story you shared.
For this lady to heal and regain her life, self esteem, confidence and respect, she urgently needs a father figure to fill the vacuum that the lack of fatherly love, care and affection created overtime. She has to prayerfully and affectionately work on her reasoning with a reassurance of a blissful future.
-Pastor Stephen, Abuja
I agree with you totally about what you said. The problem with these types of girls is that when a man who is genuine approaches them, they will refuse and look the other way. I do not pity them and they don’t deserve sympathy.
-Prince Victor, Benin
It is not good for a woman or man to put all their eggs in one basket when it comes to relationships because anything can happen tomorrow. No matter the situation, be yourself in your relationships.
-Gordon Nnorom, Umukobia
Kate, that no man is worth dying for is a ruse and blanket condemnation of all men. The problem with today’s woman is her inclination to marry today’s young men who are hardly companionable and are bereft of commensurate endurance necessary for rudiments of marriage.
What is wrong with marrying a man who is 15 to 20 years older and established? Today’s young men consider it a favour to marry rich ladies and will not hesitate to exploit these ladies because the only thing they can boast of is their dangling cucumber.
-Eze Patrick. O.
Thanks for another digest. A lady earns respect through engineering, de-engineering and re-engineering when it comes to relationships. There is time to show interest, withdraw interest and reshow it.