In the beginning, my appetite for sex was very healthy. But now it is rare for me to reach orgasm and they are not as strong.
Dr Bibbi Oluranti
I am a 33-year-old woman and have been married for nine years. I love my husband. He is a very good person. And in the bedroom, he always gives me a clitoral orgasm and then we have sex, and he has his orgasm. I have never had an orgasm in sex.
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In the beginning, my appetite for sex was very healthy. But now it is rare for me to reach orgasm and they are not as strong. Just the physical is not enough for me. I need that mental foreplay. It seems like he is always waiting for the right time and for “permission” to have sex with me. I told him I like foreplay. He couldn’t possibly do that.
Why the hell can’t we just, once in a while, be like young lovers again? How can I get my husband to care about the PASSION? I have asked him if there is anything I could do to please him better. He says he is completely satisfied and I make him feel awesome. So lately I haven’t found time for it either. I don’t want a divorce. Maybe we can get really excited (mutually) about our sex life again?
–Mariam Harriman, Jos, Plateau
Divorce? Haba!! All you need is to get a good doctor or clinical psychologist or sex therapist, who will get into the counseling room with you both and fix things for you. That is all. It’s very good that you both have a healthy appetite and desire to please each other. And you do achieve orgasm. All that remains is a little ironing out of a few wrinkles here and there.
You can set up the counseling and employ wisdom to get him to attend and with a good professional. I’m sure it’s bye-bye to your problems. When oga hears a professional emphasising those things you’ve frankly said to him, but which he didn’t get, he’ll adjust. You can call the helplines for further help.
Weird and chronic fever: Help!
I need your help. I have this problem of pains all over my left and right abdomen, which comes with fever. I also have a feeling of a swimming movement like worm from my head to my toe in between flesh, and intermittent itching inside my stomach. Also, I notice lightening movement in between my eyeball in form of breaking the membrane in parts.
I have gone for tests and the result has always been typhoid and malaria, which I have always treated with the prescribed drugs, but the problem persists. Help!
–Lukman Pategi, Minna, Niger
Yes, the fever connected with the weird-seeming symptoms makes typhoid very likely. Malaria? Well, if you are not careful nowadays, ordinary malaria will floor even the doctor, not to talk of laity. You see, treatment of malaria must be combination and artemisinin-based. It’s called ACT. Artemisinin-based combined therapy. Meaning? Use at least two drugs in combination – let one be Artemisinin. Works wonders. If you don’t treat malaria that way, expect funny relapses like yours.
Typhoid generally refuses to go when it’s not treated for long enough – like this letter I’m quoting here also shows: “Good day doctor, and I want to commend you for the good job you’ve been doing. About a year ago I found out I used to have headaches.
I ignored it. Later I found out I used to feel cold, unusually followed by stomach upsets. Also, I started to lose weight without falling sick and as a result of that I had body pains and weakness.
After visiting a hospital and running some tests they said I had typhoid. After being admitted and treated for some days, I added a little weight, but barely two weeks after all this, everything has started again! That is, I’m losing weight unusually and so on. Please, advise me and send back to my box.” Treatment must not be less than two weeks for typhoid fever. As you can see, that is the first mistake this letter writer has made – treats for a few days, gets better and stops treatment – only for the problem to return. Like I said, treatment must be at least two weeks. And in your case I’d treat for at least three weeks. If, however, after proper treatment as outlined above, there is still no improvement; there is a herbal medication that I have found very practically useful for both malaria and typhoid together.
Send to us for free info on how to easily obtain it or go to our website – www.mediamedix.blogspot.com. Beyond all of the above, if you still don’t get well after following the advice I’ve just given, I’d probe you for what I call a Spiritually Inflicted Disease Entity (SIDE).
I’ve banned sex with my husband!!
Because we are growing older and for the sake of greater convenience, my husband and I keep a plastic container under the bed as a urinal, which gets emptied by us in the morning. I have noticed that there are flaky whitish sediments in the urine when I dispose of it in the morning and I became apprehensive. I insisted on laboratory examination, which showed nothing wrong.
By getting two different containers, I have been able to discover that the sediments come from my husband’s urine. Again, laboratory evidence is zero. I am worried, because on Google, infection is mentioned. For this reason I have stopped allowing my husband to have unprotected sex with me. I don’t want any infection. I have been demanding condoms, which he refuses because to him they are ridiculous. This has led to a stalemate. Please, advise me what to do.
–Shirley Madumere, Enugu
My dear Shirley,
The word infection can be the cause of a lot of unnecessary scares if not correctly understood. But to escape the fear snare, here is wisdom. It is Sexually Transmitted Infection you want to run away from. When infection is not qualified by the phrase “sexually transmitted” there is very little to worry about. You see, the vagina itself is not sterile but contains a lot of germs (although beneficial). The astute physician knows what to treat and what to ignore, even when laboratory results show what looks like infection. This is because isolating certain germs in medical tests of urine and semen and even high vaginal swabs does not necessarily mean there is infection. Germs may be present in a beneficial relationship with the host; that is they may be living as commensals and not pathogens in the host’s system.
Sediments can be present without infection of any kind. And even if true infection is present, it may be a general germ or a germ that causes only urinary tract infection, which is not the same thing as a sexually transmitted infection. See a good doctor who will take time to interview, examine and lab-investigate both of you and get to the root of this. But don’t shut down the marital bed because of so-called infection that cannot be found in medical laboratory tests but exists only in the realms of speculation. Such behaviour is what causes even morally upright men to stumble. Stop the sex ban. Please be wise. You can call the helplines.