Chief Mrs Beatrice Okonkwo is a hero. In the traditional society of Nsukka people, any woman who gives birth to ten surviving children is celebrated as a hero. A feast is held in her honour where a cow must be killed for her waist in recognition of her heroic achievement of delivering ten children. She gave birth to thirteen children with eleven of them surviving. No twins and none through surgery. She trained all her children to the best of her ability and out of her womb proceeded five lawyers and other professionals including the Nollywood Foremost Actor/Lawyer, Kenneth Okonkwo. She was bestowed with a first class Nsukka traditional title of “Omerubo” and christened “Asamma Nwanyi” in recognition of her beauty, greatness and leadership qualities among her peers.
Apart from being a traditional hero of Nsukka people, my mother is my personal hero. I was born in a refugee camp during the Nigeria civil war. This explains why there’s no known childhood picture of me at birth. My Father was a fortunate man. At maturity and immediately after acquiring a skill as a Vulcaniser, the University of Nigeria was sited in my town. Being the only one that was an expert in tyre repairs and maintenance in the whole town, with excess tyres to deal with as a result of influx of vehicles to the town because of the siting of the University, he became instantly very wealthy. He built the first house with corrugated iron sheet in my whole village. My elder brothers were born in the best hospital in Nsukka then with expert mid-wives doting on them. When it came to my turn, the war broke out and my town was one of the first towns to be hit by the war. My parents escaped and became internally displaced. They slept in bushes and forests some days and ended up in refugee camps in towns where they were relatively unknown.
It was within this atmosphere of zero life expectancy that my mother took in. Am sure if they had access to family planning facilities, they wouldn’t have opted to be having babies under that atmosphere. Being very young parents, pregnancies were bound to happen, irrespective of the unfriendly situation. It was this period that God decided I should proceed to earth through Chief Mrs Beatrice Okonkwo. I say God because I am sure that if I had a choice I wouldn’t have chosen to come down at that time. It could still be possible that when I was in the spirit, before birth, that I saw my Father, a very rich man, and my Mother, a very beautiful woman and queued up to be born by them and when it came to my turn they had become refugees and God didn’t give me a chance to change my mind. My Mother was told by some visiting health officials who saw them in the refugee camp that if she was lucky to survive while giving birth to me, that I will most probably not make it alive. Her tummy was very big as if she was expecting twins but she was told that she had excess fluid in her tummy. She carried the pregnancy for almost eleven months and placed her fate only in God.
One fateful morning, she suddenly started travailing, no doctors, no nurses, no good food, no good environment, everything happening in a refugee camp, her screams woke up my Father who gathered some wonderful women around to assist her. All on her own, with the encouragement of people around, and with her legs wide open, she started watching drama unfold in her eyes. She saw a ball of fire proceed from in-between her legs and flew up exploding into stars in the sky and before she recovered from such trance, the little Ken moved out from her on his own. That was how I was born miraculously. All the water discharged from her womb and I was struggling to survive. All attempts for me to cry was truncated by the excess fluid in me that kept coming out. I was breathing as if the next hard earned breath will be my last. Having been warned that I may probably not make it if my mother was lucky to have me alive, my Father was already prepared for the worst. He was thankful to God that his beautiful wife survived.
However, when I was born and the women of the community came around and bore me in their hands, they saw the determination on my face to survive with all the natural endowments God decorated me with and collectively prayed and vowed that I will not die. Having nothing else to give me in a refugee camp, no good food, clothes or ceremony, my Mother wrapped me with her love. The women of the community wrapped me with their love. I struggled with breath for two weeks and at the end of two weeks, I let out my first cry to the surprise of everyone. This was the first signal that I may survive and indeed I survived. Being in a war situation, I sucked my Mother’s breasts for years. Her back was my abode because an attack can happen at anytime and everyone will flee immediately. Some even escaped without their children and became permanently separated. But my Mother wrapped me at her back permanently for months. I walked the first time at the age of one and half years. My umbilical cord that was cut was sealed with the soil of the community in accordance with the tradition of the community. My Mother feared the wound will be infected with tetanus but couldn’t resist the community rules being a refugee and remembering the help of the community for my survival. The wound healed and I survived. A woman’s love and prayers can make a difference.
Everyone has a mother but not everyone has a Father. Even if you are born by the power of the Holy Spirit, a Mother must be the vessel through which you will appear on earth. Women have a special place in the creation of God and are wonderfully and fearfully made. It is often said that they are beautiful beings because they were created from the finished product. Whereas man was moulded from the earth, a woman was moulded from the man. A man who grew up with his Mother’s love is always distinguishable from a man who did not. They are more humane and caring but at times more spoilt but others who grew outside of the tender care of a woman are more aggressive and ill-tempered.
The love of a woman can elevate a man to an indescribable height and sustain him there. The love of women can elevate a nation. Once a woman is in love, she can go to any length for the person. What a woman desires from her man to give him her best is love, respect and honesty. A woman in love can forgive anything if you can only be sincere with her. It is with women that I realised that indeed love covers multitude of sins. There’s an international professional lady called Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iwuala. She needs no introduction. She got married to her childhood heartthrob. At the height of her career and international recognition, her husband was involved extramaritally with another woman, who in turn started extorting him. He became brave enough to confide in his wife. She stood by her husband and what would have turned out to be a family crisis resulted in the strange woman being convicted for extortion. She forgave and fought for her man because of love. The husband is powering today and she is powering today as the DG World Trade Organisation. Hillary Clinton did same for Bill Clinton when Monica Lewinsky opened her legs to accommodate Bill’s cigga. When the world saw that Hillary forgave Bill, they had no choice than to forgive him. A wise woman builds her house while a foolish woman pulls it down with her hands.
The wrath of a betrayed woman has threatened great kingdoms in the past. The story of Romeo and Juliet, a Prince and Princess in love but whose love was frustrated due to the enmity of their two Kingdoms of which frustration resulted in the suicide of both the Prince and the Princess but led to the reconciliation of both Kingdoms. The threat of the fall of the British Monarchy is not coming from threats of military dominance from foreign powers but from the mismanagement of love affairs among the Princes and Princesses of the United Kingdom. 85 years ago, the Kingdom was shaken by the abdication of the throne by King Edward VIII, after one year in office, in preference to marry the love of his life whom, by the culture of the monarchy, was not suited for him to marry being an American divorcee. The Kingdom was shaken again in the recent past by the admission of adultery and betrayal of love between Prince Charles and Princess Diana. Currently, the Kingdom is facing international criticisms of its handling of the love affair between Prince Harry and Princess Meghan. Meghan is the first woman of colour that is married to the monarchy and she, with her husband, accused the Monarchy of racist abuse and discrimination. They separated themselves from the Monarchy and their revelations are threatening the international reputation of the Monarchy.
Our women should be celebrated because they have distinguished themselves in character and learning worldwide. Here at home, they have demonstrated least appetite for crimes and huge appetite for child upbringing, national cohesion and development. The Okonjos, Aminas, Ezekwesilis, Zainabs etc, have attracted international recognition for their positive contribution towards the economic, social and political advancement of our country and the world. Favourable environment should be created for their political and economic advancement. Stringent laws should be promulgated and enforced to prevent child marriage and domestic violence against the women. To get the best from our women, men must learn to hold, cherish, love and make love to their own women. What you do with women in all the rooms matter but how you treat them in “the other room” is very important too. Congratulations to all the women of the world on the celebration of the international women’s day on the 8th of March. You are my heroes.