I looked around for Bola, I couldn’t stand to be alone with Lara, the girl got on my nerves! It could have been an interesting party if all the women didn’t hang on to their men for dear life. It was annoying and damn right irritating. I didn’t know a lot of women felt so insecure about their men. Please girls ‘be yourselves’ and you won’t have to fear losing your man to another woman. It is this ‘forming thing’ that girls do that has led to so many problems.
Anyway I am done with this party, I haven’t had an intelligent conversation with any man or woman and frankly speaking I’m getting bored. “And where do you think you’re going cinda f**kingrella,” I heard an all too familiar voice. “Zara!” I exclaimed in surprise.
I couldn’t believe I was so happy to see her. “What are you doing here? I thought you travelled,” I asked in excitement. “Last minute change of plans Baby,” she said. “Come let’s go hang out at a friend’s Bachelorette party, I am sure it will be much more fun.
This party looks boring, girl you look edible,” Zara said all in one breath giving me a scandalous look that will make a virgin scarlet. Bola made her excuses and we left. Zara was right; the Bachelorette party was a swanky affair. We mingled with the crowd and came across this group of Ladies who were trading stories and sexcapades. It was like we had been initiated into a top-secret sorority where the password was ‘Getting married’ even though we were very single.
Complete strangers, young and old, fair, bleached, dark skinned etc began telling us things that would make an Ajegunle prostitute blush. In fact, the most conservative sex advice we got was from an actual high class prostitute, she did a striptease.
She informed us that maintaining a healthy sex life is mostly up to the woman. “Some married men are easily contented and loose their sense of adventure. Be the captain of your own ship,” she whispered. Women will always have the burden of maintaining the passion.
The men want to be told what to do.” A woman of the polygamist Maasai tribe in Kenya, thousands of miles from Nigeria, echoed her sentiments. “You need to be in charge of the sex,” a Kenyan friend of the bride to be told us. Strong words coming from such a patriarchal society. The Maasai women hailed the importance of making time for sex, no easy task for them. They live in a single room with multiple children, and their schedule can revolve around up to four other wives. “How do you have good sex with the kids around all the time?” Zara asked curiously laughing.
The woman got quiet for a beat, and I worried Zara had overstepped her boundary. But then she leaned in to us and whispered “you get on top! It’s quieter,” Amelia for that was her name said. “Isn’t being with the same person, night after night, for the rest of your life, boring?” I wondered aloud whether allowing affairs was the secret to stoking marital passion, they looked at me like I’d suggested they murder puppies. “Do I want my man to sleep with someone else?” a lady practically spat on me. “No, I do not!” After a sip of wine and a long draw on her skinny cigarette, she softened. “I must keep him interested.
It’s about keeping the mystery,” she explained. “Some of our women get married and they get rid of the sexy lingerie and start walking around in grandmother cotton nighties and peeing with the door open.” Another lady in the Group told us we were committing a cardinal sin in our relationship. I had expected a good amount of sex advice from the young ladies.
I hadn’t expected it from a conservative looking woman. “Never stop having sex with your husband. Even when you get very old,” she said quietly. “Quality over quantity,” another lady shouted above the sound of the music. Conservative couples have sex only during specific times of the month I am told. I wonder if this was a way to maximize fertility. Jeez, these ladies were crazy!